swinton in production stills I took from a feature film we worked on together.
Look at us making movies.
1. I have spoken english most of my life and still stumble upon many words. For example, i can’t for the life of me say math or earth correctly. I say maff, or earff, etc. I try and force myself to do the “th” sound, but fail.
2. I did not know my full name until i was 5 years old. When I learned my full name I had an identity crisis and cried for days. I felt betrayed by everyone. I was destroyed.
3. I am obsessed with thai food. I will eat it everyday. Its borderline insane. I might need help.
4. The first movie I remember watching is “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.” Which might explain my obsession with the absurd and the surreal.
5. I read philosophy papers, and scientific articles in my spare time. I constantly revisit some of my favorites.
6. My dream since childhood has been to make films. I have no idea what I would do, if I weren’t pursuing that goal. I cannot imagine my life otherwise. I write the first drafts of my screenplays by hand, which is infuriating for the people who work with me and want to read my work in progress.
7. I have anxieties about my work that at times are overwhelming, but i do my best to fight through them and stay positive.
8. I live life with childlike enthusiasm. If that is a good thing or a bad thing I cannot say. I just do!
9. My best friend and I are practically the same person. Like we are mentally linked. We say the same thing at the same time. Its uncanny. We also might be related. Which is crazy. Crazy Crazy world. Right swinton?
10. I am incredibly adept at drawing myself. I’m okay at drawing other people and things, but if you ask me to draw my face I will make an incredibly accurate drawing.
Thank you dcreativebug for tagging me :)
Some days are more difficult than others.
Every labored breath exits with the unwillingness of lifers let out of jail after 35 merciless years. Out on good behavior, yet aching to return.
My body, struggling against the heavy boot of my mind. Squirms to keep closed the psychosomatic wounds it worked so desperately to heal. To no avail.
Every once dull ache sears under this duress. Leaving me floored, clutching at my sides, hoping the pressure mends this broken soul. Nonetheless, this brief resurgence of dread and pain soon passes, and I continue onwards into the fray.
Even as my insides claw at my skin, the slow rhythmic path towards that warm soft earth at the end of the road and the promise of reprieve guide my advance.
It’s just some days are more difficult than others.
Day 6 of 365
Had the privilege to shoot Gleveen Octavia Mcbeth once more.
Always a delight to shoot with her.
Here are two images from the shoot.
Seething, crawling, burning.
My Carrion flesh
Pregnant with the foul stench of neglect.
Lies abandoned in the midst of a listless afternoon.
Day 5 of 365
Only the fragile fleeting after image of a small caress remains,
Like a tarrying ghost seared into tender flesh.
a memory wrapped in cellophane.
A retinal flare,
distant and dissipating.
Each breath, a beat, a mile, a moment removed,
and in the end, cold.
Nothing but a heavy heart haunting broken streets,
a moth searching for a flame.
Day 4 of 365
The woman at the counter stared me down with the enmity usually reserved for those who’ve caused us harm. Heat emanating from her sweet caramel eyes, tinged with equal amounts confusion and scorn. Her piercing glare lodging deep into the center of my amygdala.
I’d never been here before, so her inherent loathing struck me as peculiar. Maybe it was instinctive, rooted in pheromones, like how it’s said that we can sense attraction within fifteen seconds of meeting someone. Intrinsic and unavoidable.
Maybe I’d scorned her on one of those many nights of hubristic nihilism I so often partook in as a youth. Just another of the many blurs that lingered in the dumps of my mind. Forgotten before recorded, destined to become simply a vague image and a hint of lavender.
A tap on my shoulder derails my thoughts, bringing me back from space.
I turn to see an old woman, the face of annoyance itself, barking at me. ”you’re next!” she says, irritation brimming from her being.
I turn back to the woman at the counter, to see that indeed I am.
Day 3 of 365
*Note I write all these in a notebook, and have been busy so I have not had the opportunity to transcribe them and post them. For the next few days I will double down and transcribe as many as i possibly can to catch up. Thank you for reading friends.
On set portraits from a feature film I recently worked on.